Farm to Forest Dinner

Last month I was invited to be the speaker at Brad Kleiner’s Farm to Forest dinner. 

What a beautiful night! Chef Keith Bidwell provided us with delicious food and joined the conversation I facilitated.

I confess, I was a non-traditional speaker. Instead of offering a monologue, I invited participants to respond to four progressive prompts throughout the evening. And we made sure there was time to talk to those right next to you, as well as everyone at the table.

With each new dinner course, we engaged in a new discussion prompt. We started by talking about childhood games or activities we kept coming back to, over and over. Things like playing teacher, exploring in the woods, and collecting & organizing information (wait, am I the only one with that one?)

Second, we talked about what kept us coming back to that ‘thing’ – what was it that we loved about it.

Third, we shared something that had influenced us – a person, a conversation, a book, an experience…something that had stuck with us over time and in some way shaped who we are now.

Finally, I talked a bit about cosplay – something I think about a lot. (If it's a new term for you, it comes from Japanese Anime and it’s referring to dressing up and behaving like someone else.) I think cosplay comes up more often in our adult professional lives than we might initially realize. It sometimes goes by the code name of ‘Fake it till you make it.’

I think there are two main reasons we cosplay:

For-A-Time – We take on a “persona” that helps us engage the way we want to in a specific situation. Think Beyonce & Sasha Fierce.

Unending – We do this when we think we need to be a certain way, even if it feels wrong to us.

We might use this unending (ongoing, perpetual) cosplay for two reasons:

First, to protect ourselves when we need to fit in to a dominant culture (think of the times you agreed to a round of golf or karaoke with your colleagues even that is SO not your thing, or when you’re looking around for acceptable hair style & verb usage).

Second, we may do it in scenarios where we have not yet developed our own point of view (POV) on how to engage. Maybe we assume we need to imitate someone else we’ve seen be successful in that role and it becomes difficult to distinguish our own POV from what we’re imitating.

One of the ways we develop our own POV is by looking for the throughlines in our own lives. This might look like asking ourselves:

What was it about what we loved as kids that was meaningful? Is that something that is still important to us? (For example, one of mine was exploring. And when I'm happiest in my work now there are heavy doses of exploring, curiosity and learning.)

How have our influences influenced us? How have they made visible what is important to us? Is that highlighted in the way we’re approaching our situation?

We wrapped the evening around the campfire, reflecting on these ideas and following the conversation where it led.